houda?

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Posted by appa | Posted in communication, listen | Posted on 26-05-2009

“is it?”

Abhinav completely floored me yesterday with this acknowledgement of listening – I can’t imagine where he picked up the word or the usage, maybe while we are talking amongs’t ourselves… and today he’s using it more. In between pauses in a conversation, he says “houda?”

funtime is everytime

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Posted by appa | Posted in communication, mischeif, sleep | Posted on 21-05-2009

This post was prompted by: Games puttachi plays


“Appa muugu thogothini” (I am taking dad’s nose) and snatches my nose from my face. Then he pretends to hold it and does all kinds of things with it.

appa muugna fanige haakbute … (I put appa’s nose into the fan!) …”drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr antha thirigbuDtu” (it spinning drrrrrrrr)

appa muugna dabuk! antha neerig haakbuTe (i put appa’s nose ‘dabuk!’ into the water

appa muugnaaaa appa muugnaaaa… and he speculates while holding appa’s nose in his hand… mixiege haakbuTe … drrrr drrrr drrrrrrrr

And if I’m standing up he makes me bend down and take my nose!

We find that this game really helped build up his vocabulary significantly because he always used the words he’d learnt about objects around him, to do different things with ‘appa muugu’


He takes a hanky and starts spinning it around ‘drrrr… drr….’ and says ‘amma amma chaLi chaLi antha heLu’ (amma amma say that you’re feeling cold!)


As you might guess… ‘drrrrrr’ imitating the kitchen food mixer is his favorite sound 😉 It was during the few months we were in Germany, when he had started interacting freely with strangers. While travelling in a bus/train in Germany, the Germans usually are silent and expressionless. But this guy he just looks around and waits to catch someone’s eye and starts off. And they just can’t help reciprocating, and he makes that bus journey a party time. I’ve not seen them interacting with German kids the way they interact with him!


He goes and hides somewhere and says ‘naanu bachitkondidini’ (I’m hiding) and then 2 seconds later bursts out saying ‘illidni!’ (I’m here!)


to be continued…

parent's inculcation of silence and listening adds real quality to bonding

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Posted by appa | Posted in communication, listen, parenting | Posted on 19-03-2009

For some stint of indiscipline, I had almost discontinued practice of observing silence daily, for a few months. I felt that even though Abhinav was right there with me, I was still missing him. I was missing the depth of the bond that deepens with this practice. Once I got back on track, I’m able to clearly see a difference even in the way he reciprocates.

(Whenever he sees me sitting on the floor in meditation, he comes and sits on my lap very happily saying “appa hatra” (near Dad). I have to call my wife to take him away for a while, even though in my heart is only prayer for his highest welfare!)

True that any father feels paternal love due to the role or relationship or ‘blood is thicker than water’ factor. But there is a lot more depth in the purity and joy of the love one feels as a meditator. And the beauty is, that the same love and joy automatically gets extended to any child one comes across eg a friend’s kids or even a small boy who comes to clean the car windshield at a traffic signal! With my limited sense of commitment, atleast just during those moments that we’re together I truly wish them well. For them it may not matter I don’t know, but its a good thing anyway 🙂

how to teach silence?

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Posted by appa | Posted in communication, listen | Posted on 18-12-2007

comment here

[Note: I’m not trying to explain what Suresh means, I’m just sharing some incidents in my life that seems to be a bit along similar lines]

Usually when I interact with an infant I see I have this tendency that I always want him to do something. I want him to smile when I make a face, I want to do something to make him laugh, try some activity like making some noise or shaking some rattle or doll and see what his reaction is. And if he smiles I want to do more of it, if he dosent want to try something else. But if he’s just sitting still, all by himself, if he seems disinterested, then a kind of restlessness comes up sooner or later – some impulsive action like let me pick up something, let me make him say something, let me try to put him on his tummy and see if he wants to crawl, let me give him some object to grasp, try to make him play…

Of course, interaction is good for the infants, it helps them to develop. However once in a way I am able to overcome this impulsive behaviour of mine, and and just be with him quietly.

If he is quiet its ok, or even if he does something, no encouragement or reaction from me. He is wide awake, he is playful – but I just smile at him. After a while, he too becomes very still and curious, he looks straight at me as if he’s studying me… We’re just sitting there mesmerized in each other’s presence… for a long time. Suddenly he makes some sound, or he laughs and then continues in silence for some more time. These are undescribably beautiful moments.

I dont know whether I taught him silence, but I imagine that I convey he needn’t feel compelled to have to do something all of the time 🙂